Things Mom would like you to Know

Hey Baby,

I have been meaning to write you a letter since forever. The first time this idea stuck me was when I had acknowledged and gotten used to the fact that there was this little person that was growing inside me. There were so many things I wanted to tell you about this world that we would be bringing you into but, somehow that didn't happen. Then with each of your last two birthdays the thought fleeted by. Then there were so many events that happened in our lives last year, so many things that changed everything I thought our life would be to things that even I can't comprehend at this point, that I wanted to write the messages I learnt from them and feelings I felt during these times to you. And then through each of your stages, questions, looks, tantrums and strange habits that you gain  and (luckily) lose each week, I wanted to tell you so many things about you, me...and...us. Finally today, when it is not any significant date or year or event, when I came across another letter from a new mom to her daughter, when I have NOT collated and compiled all my thoughts even, that I am finally sitting down to write my letter to a not eve two and a half year old you. :)

 (PS. This means there are a never ending list of things I wish for you to know. Oh! But you already know THAT fact. :D )

1. You are my world.

 Before you happened I had no idea about the infinite quantity of love I was capable of. I look at you and realize that statements like "my heart brims over with love" are actual physical feelings that humans are capable of. You taught me me. You taught me the strength I had, because my darling, you will one day know the amount of sweet pain this love means and how much strength you need, to hold that much love inside. You ARE my whole world and I will ALWAYS love you no matter what (Read: no matter how mad you make me at times)

2. You are the best at being YOU. And only you can be that.

Makes you Happy, right?

Let no one tell you any different. In this world of unhealthy competition and crazy comparisons, never forget that you have been made a certain way and you are thoroughly loved for that. You have your own strengths and weaknesses, like every single person out there. I have no problem in you trying to do the impossible. In fact I'll be right there beside you supporting, applauding and in case it doesn't work, putting my arms around you (if that is what you need at that moment). However, do it for yourself. Do it only if it makes you happy and not because "everyone else is doing the same" or "that is the in thing" or any other such reasons that begin with "everybody".

3. Be Right, Be Happy

My only goal for you is that you learn to be happy. No need to conform. Be different. You will be judged. You will be tagged. But if it is not "wrong" (and I am counting on being able to raise you to know your rights and wrongs and make the right judgement because honey...

And if it makes you happy, then go ahead and be just that.
Your mother does NOT expect you to do things to make her happy. Your mother expects you to do things that you know are right AND that make you happy and she will be proud of you and happy in your happiness. 

Always remember that life will throw a lot of curve-balls at you. Learn to expect them, face them and be proud of yourself and not get pulled down by them.
Don't expect life to reach a point of happiness. Don't try to find Big happiness AFTER you have achieved certain goals or solved certain problems. Learn to be happy despite them, everyday, in small small ways. 

4. I'll always be proud of your efforts

Baby, your mom is just made that way. I will NEVER berate you for failures if I have seen you try. Of course I would exult in and celebrate your success and achievements. But what I would be the most proud of are your efforts. To watch you sincerely work hard, again and again even, at something would give me a world of pride and joy than to see you gaining things unjustly and too quickly. For, the things you gain like that would have no meaning or importance and would eventually give you no happiness.

5. Be an Outdoor person, please.

What I mean is Play.Some.Sport. I know you will have your smart phones and computer games, cartoon networks and DVDs, books and home works and in time your play stations as well. However, I really really want you to go out and breathe the air, get tanned, fall in the grass, run, jump, climb, swim, cycle...just PLAY outdoors.

6. Treat everyone with respect.

Unfortunately in today's world, there are all kinds of tags out there. You may even receive a few. All I can count on is I am bringing up a real person who will always have the sense to remember that every single being he meets is an individual, a person worthy of love, respect, understanding, friendship and least of all a CHANCE and not, NEVER EVER a tag, be it race, caste, religion, color, region, gender ANYTHING. Here also I would like you to remember that different is NOT BAD. Meet people, like people, everyone is an individual, not a general classification.

7. Love Animals

Ok. I know I cannot force this one on you no matter how much I want. So, if you are the kind who doesn't enjoy the company of the furry or the feathered, I can (try and) understand that that is just how you are. But remember NEVER to hurt them. They are here for a reason. This is as much their planet as ours. In fact, they do way less harm to this planet than we do. They can't talk and they can't express pain and you don't get to GIVE THEM ANY.

8. Be a gentleman 

Be a protector, a brother, a gentleman

This includes a lot of things, treating women with respect being top of the list. This also includes not dressing in pants 5 sizes too loose or looking like a walking canvas. This also means watching your language, treating elders with care and consideration, helping the needy and simply being a polite and likable boy. This means being a brother, a protector, a pillar to the people around you. I hope you find the merits of all of this soon enough.

9. Cry - It is normal. 

Sadness is an emotion and crying is an expression and yes, boys (and men) DO cry. And while you are at it, always remember that expressions are the key to relationships. Express love, express happiness, express pain and sadness, express anger as well, but just like everything else, overdoing it might cause you and people close to you harm. But remember, unlike a uterus, God did give men tear ducts. 

10. Make friends, eventually they matter the most 

As they say, we don't get to chose our relatives. Friends are the only special people in our lives that we get to choose and keep. Love them, keep them and always value them. Number of friends you have don't matter (yes, yes I know Facebook or whatever else you will have then). What matters is you have the kind who NEVER make you feel alone in this world when you really need them. Believe me son, I am here, me, on this date, writing this letter to you with so much sanity and clarity, all thanks to some really God given gems.

11. Find your passions - they are free therapy.

I have had my shares of ups and downs in life. So have your grandparents. Hopefully over the years, over a lot of shared coffee and conversations and stories and moments you will hear and be part of and proud of each of these tales that made us, us and you, you. However, one thing that I turned to at some really testing times was my passions. Reading, playing a bit with colors, a little crocheting, a little cleaning and rearranging our home, some crafts, anything. Find your passion, find your creative streak and lo! you find your free therapy. It could be music, sketching, painting, musical instruments, dance, photography, you name it. And remember: you don't HAVE to be good at it. It is for YOU to enjoy doing only. It is to make you happy. :)

12. I hope we will always be best friends

I took the following lines from something I had read some time back:

"there is an old adage that starts, "A son is a son till he takes a wife..." Over time, I pray our bond stays strong enough to disprove this saying.

13.  Read. 

There are so many worlds out there.

May beautiful worlds around you

I agree that it is a matter of personal choice. You may or may not find pleasure in books. But I would like you to give it a few tries. I lived my life through many, many lives and many worlds. I lived my life knowing fairy creatures and worlds on top of trees, I lived my life knowing murder investigators and jailbirds (this, from one of my favorite books). I lived my life knowing sensible butlers and funny masters. And so many many more. And I love each one of them. You really don't see much of this world if you don't see them through the pages of the book as well.

14. Explore the world, explore your limits.

Yes. Travel. But in other words, take the road less travelled. I don't want you to ever feel that you missed out in life for the lack of chances. Take yours. Have your adventures.

15. This will ALWAYS be your home. I will ALWAYS be here for you. Yes, you will make your own life and have your own family, you will travel all those less travelled paths, you will succeed, you might fail, we might have our arguments and disagreements, but remember, you ARE my whole world and forever will be and I will always always be the same mother that was born with you on 6th April, 2010. I will always love and cherish you and I will always be here to welcome you home whenever you feel like it.

I'll be here to hold your hand through every storm.