Verticality - Getting there

A lot of things, thoughts, have been running around in my head and yet I am unable to reign any one thought in enough to dwell over it and put it down into coherent words. In truth I am yet to break free  of the hibernation mode. Hence the long days of silence. Anyhow, I decided to try and resume writing by taking the easy way out - journalling Sid's latest developments.

Onto Two Little Feet: Its really amazing how we take for granted acts like standing, walking and running, considering how difficult it is to actually just get off our bums and onto two very unstable little feet. To get a hold someplace (mostly very wrong places like ends of a bed sheet) then attempt to pull oneself up, keep falling back onto your bum till finally you manage to get up; And all for what, just as things start looking interesting on the new surface and you excitedly extend your hands to grab something, you are back on your bum, and this time the fall is very hard too (from all that height). Wow! watching this cycle gives one a new appreciation of the things we do with ease, without thinking twice. More importantly it teaches us what determination is. Just to keep on and on at something that is so painful and difficult till one gets it so right one doesn't have to think twice about it. You gotta learn it from these little ones. Anyhow, Sid is currently (as of late November) at this painful stage.

 

What has now become a "can do with no effort" activity is sitting up and playing. all the see-sawing and falling off has finally, thankfully ended. (though of course, it was less painful to fall while sitting compared to while standing)

 



serious speech



 Talkie Talk: Communication has progressed to a lot of single syllable sounds like ta-ta, tha tha,  and so on. He looks at the respective thing when asked where the light is, fan is, where Danny is, or the Christmas star. He knows where to look for flowers ("poo" in Malayalam) in the garden and has learned to say poo as well. He has started saying "atha" and only calls for "amma" (mom) when he is crying or wants something. All the baby sounds he makes has finally made communication a 2-way process of speaking if not hearing and understanding.

Food, The New Struggle: I do realise that I have written an entire article about the difficulties of feeding but however much I write, it seems I haven't even begun to cover the difficulties. How I wish babies, who otherwise are really intelligent you know, had been born with the basic understanding that food can assuage hunger. its a really vicious circle. Hunger makes him cranky - cranky makes him difficult to sit at a place or open his mouth - thus becoming more hungry!

The Games We Play:

Break the Glass - Course, the ultimate favorite thing right now, as soon as he is left on the ground, is to hold on to the centre table, climb up and bang on the glass top as hard as possible. really scary game.



pushing the chair round



Mover Boy: Another latest fad is to sit at the leg of any furniture and try to drag it back and forth. The hospital provided plastic chair are real fun cos they actually move and make a lot of noise. However, Sid tries this on everything, from suitcases under the bed to the bed itself.

Pick and Drop: Nah! this isn't about techie travel tails. Sid's latest game is to throw everything onto the ground and then have them picked up by others, repeatedly. Also, as soon as he sees anything on the surface of the table it all goes down in a single swish. That's rather more convenient to bang the table top.

Tabla Boy: So right after he sees something new and before it goes into his mouth his latest interest is to hit it again and again with his hands to see if it makes any interesting noise, oh uh I mean sound. 

That and a million other wonderful instances as well as not so wonderful eating (read not eating) and sleeping (read sleepless) and falling (read head bumps) instances have made the last month fun for mama and Sid.



biting away at mama's hand



Hibernation

I have been in one of those modes the last few weeks where I find myself unwilling to do anything. Its like the winter has actually put me in hibernation. Of course, in kerala there is no winter, its unbearably hot even now and well, I can hardly hope to hibernate (i don't even get to sleep folks) with an 8 month old fella crawling and climbing all around.

But still, whatever little time I get for myself I have been spending slumping around in front of the idiot box (no, not this one, the other one) watching dumb shows and wondering why people make such shows and why others (like me) sit and watch them.

It didn't help matters when I finally fell ill on top of all this last couple of days, with terrible viral fever. It took its toll on my tired body so bad that I couldn't even raise my head enough to gulp down water for 2 days. But, maybe in a way it did help matters. Because falling ill and not being able to even move broke me out of my reverie and made me realise the thousands of things I could have been doing during my "free time". Oh! the biggest shock was when I realised I actually finished a book a couple of weeks back and hadn't even started a new one yet. (Anyone who knows me, knows what an anomaly that is). So I finally recovered from the viral fever and the hibernation/sloth stage and here I am.

I have this habit of starting new hobbies but never heading anywhere with them. There are umpteen things I have started training/practicing/learning during my lifetime that have hardly lasted a few days or weeks, just some (un)lucky few lasting a few years. (When I say unlucky I am hinting at things like music classes which the whole house had to suffer because of my (lack of) talent).A few of these are classical music, classical dance, violin classes,cinematic dance and so on.

The only thing I have started at very young age and still continue with ardor is reading. There has hardly been a continuous week in my life when I have not had a "currently reading" book. I can in full earnesty say that I have not been in between books for longer than a week, if I had an option. But, I guess that still describes how lazy I am as thats the one activity that needs the least labor.

Very recently (read, since Sid) after the first couple of months of 'mothering' I hit the stage where I felt I had forgotten there was life outside motherhood and was getting too embroiled (if that is possible) in each nitty gritty of it. So much so that I stopped to exist as"me" but only as "Sid's mother". I eventually realised the abyss this was pulling me into and also that if this state of things continued I would be the one suffering separation anxiety* (instead of Sid) and empty nest syndrome** as soon as Sid joins playschool! So to get myself out of that I started further more 'hobbies'.

For one, we bought a lot of plants - roses and other flowering variety - and I got busy in planting and caring for these. The best part about gardening is that the fruit (flower) of one's labor is so beautiful and needs so much constant attention that one doesn't get an opportunity to 'grow out of' so to speak, this particular hobby. It really has been fulfilling to see this bare weeded stretch (the new house we shifted into a few months back) now having so many colours.

 from our garden

very early oil pastel lessons



I also went and bought myself a set of pastels and drawing book and began a self taught (online, of course) lesson on oil pastel coloring. Made some mediocre copies of some great works seen online. Unfortunately, this one wasn't as lucky as the gardening and has been collecting dust for some time now.

Most important and interestingly I started this blog to record Sid's growing up years and well, it has had its up and down days as well. Lets hope it sees some more up days now than it has recently been seeing.

In all honesty I wasn't sure where i was heading when I started with this post (Still not sure). But by the end of it I have at least achieved a post and hopefully this shall mark my return to updating the blog more regularly.

*Separation anxiety is a phenomenon that 5-6 months old infants and younger children are known to experience when there mom's are not around. (Ofcourse it has more serious forms as well, but we are referring to the most harmless and common form)
**usually occurs in parents when kids finally leave home.

Joys of Semi-Verticality

As on 06th Nov, 2010 around 1500 hours (almost exactly the moment Sid turned 7 months old) he decided he needed a new perspective on things and pulled himself up from his stomach to a sitting position. Of course this is a moment of great joy and pride but what it also brought along with it a lot of falling and banging of head which isn't the easiest of things to be standing around watching.
From then on to today he has been practicing the art and polishing it bit by bit pretty much all the time. Now the entire process of pushing himself up has become much smoother and faster but staying up is still dicey and results in at least one head banging per day, how much ever careful the people around him maybe! (The sight of this pains mama more than Sid from the looks of despair on the two faces).
 
The best part about sitting up however is the freedom it gives. Being able to explore all around and pick up things as and when one likes. (and put them in his mouth too).
But despite all the head bumps and tummy upsets (and palpitations for mommy), Oh! its so worth it to watch kiddo sit up and wave his arms around in joy and laugh about just so he can...

P.S mamma is too scared to pick up the cam and click pics when Sid is sitting up, and hence no sitting-up-and-playing-snaps, yet.

Saturday Songs: Jack and Jill

Before I write my thoughts as well as my findings on this rhyme, I shall first like to note the verses that are known to follow the most common first stanza. According to the most modern version, the rhyme goes as:

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water.

Jack fell down and broke his crown,

And Jill came tumbling after.

Up Jack got, and home did trot,

As fast as he could caper,

To old Dame Dob, who patched his nob (OR And went to bed to mend his head)

With vinegar and brown paper

 

There are several versions of the rhyme and following verses are among options that have been seen in various versions and various reproductions of the rhyme through history, but not formally document as the complete rhyme anywhere.

 

Jill came in and she did grin               

To see his paper plaster;

Mother vexed did whip her next

For laughing at Jack's disaster.

 

Now Jack did laugh and Jill did cry

But her tears did soon abate;

Then Jill did say that they should play

At see-saw across the gate.

 

This single unified rhyme was extracted from wikipedia where further alternatives of each of the verses are available. Wikipedia also provides many many theories and narrations for the origin of these lines varying from abduction of kids from earth to the moon, failure of kings to negotiate peace, taxes on liquor (Jack refers to 1/2 pint and Jill to 1/4), deposing of kings ("lost his crown") and so on. To read these theories in detail, you may http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_and_Jill_(nursery_rhyme) 

follow the link:

Again, almost all the rhymes I chose here were those that were discussed with dad during that conversation I referred to in the initial meme and the question we had raised then with regards to Jack and Jill was, why would someone go "up an hill" to fetch water? Logic prevails one comes down a hill for that right?Hmmm.....all the research and discoveries about the rhyme, and that question is still unanswered.

Meal Time!

Around 5 month's age we started Sid on some supplementary food (or at least we tried). These included mashed and sweetened ragi paste, dried, sweetened raw banana paste etc. all traditional malayali initiation food. I'm not very sure what is followed in other parts of the country and I decided to go the safest route as this is what the rest of everyone else I know has grown up on and has fed their next generation too.

One thing I can guarantee, trying to feed a baby anything other than milk is not for the faint hearted, the impatient or the short tempered. Or rather, I should say it is a good lesson for everyone of the kind I just described (ahem...like me).

In this context, my mom was talking about a senior paediatrician colleague of hers who has written books on infants and toddler care and her most important advice to all parents who complain about the difficulty of feeding their babies is to let them be, that kids don't stay hungry and they shall eat without much coaxing when they are sufficiently hungry. Until...she had her grandchild. After that, during a conversation, she happened to tell my mom how she thinks she might as well rewrite her book cos she has realised that however hungry, if babies don't like the business of opening their mouth and swallowing their food, THEY WILL NOT! Oh No they won't. And for all the coaxing, goading, distracting and everything one might invest in, one might as well learn, a NO means just that.

It is amazing how, before learning to chew and swallow, these tinies learn to spit and even more importantly to clamp their mouth shut with such force as soon as they spot a spoon in the horizon. How quickly they understand tricks and distractions and will not even open their mouths to giggle, instead settling for a tightly closed lip smile, even at their favourite tricks!

gooey redefined

So, as this struggle progresses, we have started Sid on almost everything a little by little except tough animal proteins and eggs. (All paediatricians strictly advice against feeding babies eggs before 10 months.) Over and above the aforementioned gooey stuff, he has a little rice, lentils some steamed fish, potato, apple juice, oranges and so on oh! and of course cerelac too. Only thing is by the time he has about 4 spoons of anything, my breakfast, lunch and dinner gets digested.

The irony is how they put anything and everything else into their mouths, especially dirt, shoes, floor mats and stuff that are normally kept out of reach with good reason, while they shut their mouth like a mouse trap the moment there is food in the vicinity.

WOW! to imagine what it will be like once he begins to run!



initial feeding days with grandma n grandpa



grandma grandpa gave after these first few attempts!



Saturday Songs: Twinkle Twinkle

I have been wanting to make a meme for the longest time but couldn't come up with an idea. A list of 10, 15s or 20s etc did not appeal to me. Incidently, it was a conversation with my dad about how negative some nursery rhymes are and how they are not all meant to be just rhymes but have other messages ( I know, a rather strange conversation) that set me along this path of discovering the truth about the most popular rhymes around. In my search I realised there really is so much more to the rhymes we have been singing since our childhood. 

Starting on a positive note, (some to come can be real deppressing and even though we parents learn the truth we better not share that with the kids and ruin their fun) today I shall write about the most popular one, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. What made me write about this rhyme, moreover, was that when I was very young, I had a nursery rhyme casette gifted by a relative from outside India and I distinctly remembered the rhyme having 2 stanzas instead of the popular single stanza that we all always hear and may have learnt. My initial thought was to share the second one as well with all of you but with a little research I learnt that orignally "The Star" has the following FIVE stanzas.

 

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,

How I wonder what you are!

Up above the world so high,

Like a diamond in the sky!

When the blazing sun is gone,

When He nothing shines upon,

Then you show your little light,

Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.

Then the traveller in the dark,

Thanks you for your tiny spark,

He could not see which way to go,

If you did not twinkle so.

In the dark blue sky you keep,

And often through my curtains peep,

For you never shut your eye,

Till the sun is in the sky.

As your bright and tiny spark,

Lights the traveller in the dark,—

Though I know not what you are,

Twinkle, twinkle, little star.

 

Some Wiki facts about the rhyme are that its an early 19th century couplet poem called "The Star" by Jane Taylor. It is also known to share the same tune as tha Alphabet song and Ba Ba Black Sheep. Some say that this was never intended to be a nursery rhyme but rather a lullaby. (Not so sure about that one).

SIXER

Once again, this post is a conjunction of what should ideally have been many different regularly updated posts. However, due to extremely hectic developmental days (the same ones that I should be writing about), my own laziness and more importantly because it is much more fun to be enjoying Sid than writing about him, I have been putting the whole baby diary bit in the back burner. Finally, since a new month starts today, and he is past his 6 months landmark, I decided to update all the interesting tit bits of the last month.

Blabber Boo Bits: 

In the middle of a speech



The month began with a lot of bubble blowing, pffffffffft and pa poo sounds. The most delighted with this development was granddad who kept repeating "appuppa" (grandfather in Malayalam) to Sid and Sid seemed to be managing a very similar sounding response. However, like with all his practices this one also lasted only for a 2-3 days (I'm very thankful for that time frame especially with regards to the screaming bit). This progressed to an inward breathing "ka" sound which was very weird but seemed to thrill Sid. The essence of all the special thrills with these stages is having everyone repeat after him and Sid tends to find that hilarious. And since the universe thrives to make a baby laugh, the house has become a constant babble of meaningless repetitions.

And now, since yesterday, Sid has slowly started conversing in ak ka ka ka sounds. Especially when everyone around him is talking to each other, he tends to go ak ka ka in varying pitches and volumes like its part of the conversation. 



Crawlingly Mobile:

Learning to Crawl



After all the turning, toppling and moving in reverse, Sid finally decided to pull himself forward. This happened about a week back and now we are crawling "worm style" full force forward. Right now I'm really glad I am not the one to wash his clothes cos they are as good as a mop by the time he has dragged himself around half the house on his chest, especially since his favourite places are under tables, chairs and beds. Hope he gets off his chest and onto his hands and knees very soon for the sake of his clothes. His favorite pass time at the moment is to chase plastic bottles (when one is looking. The moment you turn he will be lunging after floor mats and slippers!).

The weirdest moment was last day when Sid thought it was a game that whenever he tried to follow mama into a particular room she came running, put him back outside and then disappeared again. Actually though, it wasn't a game. I just had to use the restroom and as usual left the door open to ensure I could hear Sid, never imagining him to follow me  inside, crawling (yeesh!).

Games and Fun



His grandma has been singing to him a sweet little Malayalam rhyme of 4 lines accompanied by closing and opening of her fist  for about 3 months now. Finally her patience paid off when last week he started closing and opening his fist right back at her. Eventually he just had to hear the rhyme to start opening and closing his fist. Now he opens and closes it at everyone leaving outsiders bewildered at the gesture.

Misc New Habits

• 

  

  A few Seconds of Sitting

  
  Weird Sitter: Sid has been trying to pull himself up to a sitting position from his back by holding our hands. Has been trying this for quiet some time. Now all he needs is just some place to hold with one hand while pushing hi,self up with the other. With a tiny nudge from us he can now reach a sitting position and hold it for some seconds too by himself. This is kind of weird though as normally babies are known to start sitting up while lying on their tummies.
• 
  Scary Girls:  We have discovered that when faced by strangers, he smiles at/ does not cry when men pick him up or play with him but cries or looks away when women do the same.
• Mama's Pet: A new developent this month is Sid's special attachment to Moi. Even when around his grandpa and grandma, he has to know I am around and whenever he sees me I recieve huge smiles of pleasure. Even to sleep, eat and everything he needs his mama, and grandma is not enough. Now this is all very flattering and I am at the top of the world, but then a little free time would also be highly appreciated.
• Time Waster: Sleep (especially at day time) has gone down even further (like I had ever thought that possible!) now that there are so many better ways to spend time and so many new corners to explore. There are nights though I get about an hours sleep at times instead of half hour and so on. I'm hoping and praying these are signs of improvement. (Thought long and hard about writing that one. Didn't wanna jinx it).

I am sure there are many more tit bits that I am missing and will have to add in later. However, for the time being I stop right here as this has gone on long enough time wise and space wise. By the way, since I started this post 2 days back, I have realised that its not that I am lazy, I really am not getting any time whatsoever to sit down and write posts in between meal making, retrieving slippers and stuff from Sid and retrieving Sid himself from under beds and tables.  

Warrior Boy

Our Sid is comparatively an early teether. He got his bottom 2 incisors by around 5 months and 2 weeks! The thing about Teething is that its an extremely painful and irritating process. Just imagining the teeth cutting through the gums makes me squirm with pain and discomfort and too heartbreaking to watch. At times I feel so helpless that there isn't anything I can do to help Sid and then keep reminding myself that ALL of us have gone through it and so will he.


With his Teether

When babies are faced with this discomfort and irritation, there biggest need is to bite and gnaw at whatever they can lay there hands on. Many doctors recommend buying teethers for your babies to bite on. Very good advice of course, not only because it gives your baby some welcome relief but also keeps him occupied playing with the teether. EXCEPT (aah there it comes) we must remember that teething usually happens somewhere close to or after 8 months (usually being the operative word). By this stage their hand eye coordination is excellent - by which I mean the baby takes the teether into his mouth, if that is where he wants it, not into his eye. Now, you see the challenge. Sid is still too young and has not yet perfected his HE coordination. His movements are jerky and whatever he has in his hands has a danger of hitting his eye.

But then Sid has a solution to this problem too. Because, whatever we do or don't give him, his favourite thing to bite is our hands. So don't be too thrilled as soon as he grabs your hand. His intentions are to make two very deep and painful imprints on them. When he has his own hands in his mouth, he is very careful to cushion them on his tongue but as soon as he spots a careless prey, bang! within no time you can hear howling and screaming around you. I have also discovered, at my own very painful expense, that he loves to bit cheeks, nose and then whatever he can reach around him including furniture. His latest favourite is to bite down hard on my shoulder when I am carrying him around, especially when he wants me to walk around with him and I keep standing in one place. Additionally, he also directs his mount (me the elephant) by kicking and pushing against me.  

Another favorite "teether" - Mama's Mob

A Note to the Unaware: Some additional modes of attacks you may experience are hair pulling ( i wonder how he always gets his hands on the hair around the edges that hurt the most!), scratching (people I meet have been asking me if we have a new kitten), kicking and punching (I am not kidding, he can hurt!) and supersonic screaming into your ears that can be the end of your eardrums! Beware.

Sleep Like a Baby?

Well, well...whoever coined that one has definitely not met many babies in his/her lifetime; at least not many like mine. And, thereby I finally get down to writing a post I was putting off for the longest time ever, because just writing this brings out all my pent up emotions and normally has me going on a rampage:

"The Tale of the Elusive Sleep".

From the day Sid arrived at my side, some motherly intuition told me to be very careful with his sleep. I used to whisper and tiptoe around him, only to be scolded by one and all that thats all too silly and babies don't wake up that soon. Even when everyone noticed him waking up every half hour, (after a  marathon 2 hour effort to make him sleep) no one would agree it was due to the sound of the pressure cooker whistle from the ground floor at the other end of the house! So, I was all alone trying to ensure that he slept beyond 45 mins, at least once in the day time as well as the night time.

Over a period of time though, everyone had to agree (extremely reluctantly) that he was a cat-napper who would wake up at the tiniest possible sounds, even some that only he and Danny (our Dog) could here! We even asked a few paediatricians if it was ok that such a tiny baby wouldn't sleep at all and they all said the same thing - that if the baby is happy, active, playing normally and so forth, there is no point in interfering, it will all shape up just fine. What no one seemed to get was that mama was tired, sleep-deprived and had become a zombie.

Then there were people giving me time lines by when babies start sleeping normally, like 3 months, which later become 4 and then 6, though I am yet to see any change whatsoever.

I went around doing a lot of online research on baby sleep patterns but could not figure out anything wrong with what I was doing. Whats worse is other parents who complained about there baby "not sleeping through the night" complained about having to wake up every 3-4 hours. and this had me even more depressed; what I wouldn't give for even 2 hours of undisturbed sleep.

To top it all came a thousand different advice from all quarters, out of which my least favorite was when people asked me not to be especially quiet so as to make him "used-to" sleeping through noise. Yeah! you can say that since you didn't walk aorund, singing and swinging a sleepy crying baby for the last 2 hours, only to have him wake up in 15 mins cos of some sound you made, esecially when you yourselves are sleep deprived and practically fainting!!!

People even ask me how I went back to my post pregnancy weight so quickly. I am sure all these walks have hepled me (lose) a ton.

Anyhow this state of things continued, and then we shifted from Trivandrum to Pathanamthitta, And then it got worse (like I had imagined THAT possible!!!). But thankfully that seemed to be only due to a change of place and he  went back to his half an hour routine soon enough. 

Mama's half hour break time



Whats really puzzling us these day is that whenever we go back to trivandrum he manages to sleep through 4-5 hours without any disturbance at all and as soon as we come back he goes back to 30-45 mins routines. We are all racking our brains trying to find out what might be missing here cos it can't be the "new place" phenomenon anymore; He lived in trivandrum for about 3 months and has been here for almost 3 months now. Only if I could get that missing link.

So, here we are still struggling and living by the motto "Wake Up Sid". (Yea yea bad one, but sleep deprivation can do that to ones brain!)

P.S (on a serious note) all those out there asking me not to be quiet, please note that docs advice to do whatever it takes to ensure your baby sleeps at a particular time everyday. Eventually he will be habituated to fall asleep at that time whatever be the conditions. (I am working really hard towards it) On the other hand if you keep making noises (to make him used to it), his system will just get used to not sleeping at that time. We all have these internal clocks.

The Beginning of My Ri"c"e

The advice these days is to give the baby only breast milk for the first 6 months and to introduce supplements and/or normal diet elements only after the 6th month.

Among us malayalees the initiation to "grown-up" food is marked by a small function called the chor oonu (chor meaning rice (not surprisingly) and oonu meaning meal/to eat).

Sid had his chor oonu on 18th Sept, 2010 at the Pathmanabha Swami Temple in Trivandrum and the best part about the function was that his Dada could attend, purely unexpectedly.

For this function the priests bring some rice, salted pickled raw mango, one sabzi and some payasam (a malayali sweet preparation) on a banana leaf. The function is organised near the entrance to the main shrine next to the 'kodimaram' (the golden flag post) where the area to be seated at is earmarked by a different carved stone. Sid sat on his paternal grandpa's lap, facing the direction of the idol and his grandpa was asked to take a little of rice, mango and sabzi, paste them together and touch this paste to Sids tongue thrice. This was followed by giving him the payasam. The intention is to introduce him to all the tastes - salty, sour, bitter, hot and finally sweet.

Though normally kids are known to holler at this first taste of sour/bitter, Sid in his usual style, managed a pretty cool exterior during most of it. There was a little whimpering to the mango pickle which vanished when he got the payasam. I think of the two little teeth he got, atleast one is definitely sweet.

Then we had a long queue to wait in before we could get a darshan and finally home. Though this is normally a small close knit function only attended by the parents and grandparents, Dada's folks decided to throw a small family get-together and hence we all had lunch at P's place. It was, of course, more rice for us.

P.S Dada had also ordered a liter of "paal" (milk) payasam from the temple, and let me tell you, it is really one of the best payasams I have had. For someone who is not very fond of payasams, I had multiple helpings that day. So if you get a chance, do try to have some from there. 

I Scream, U Scream, V All Scream for...NOTHING

As on around 20th Sept, we have learnt a new form of communication, and that is to scream at the top of our lungs. It is not the angry scream or the one that is used when crying. It is just a "closed eye, full of purpose, ear shattering, earth moving" scream that is followed by a calm serene serious expression that means I just did/said something very natural. A high pitched, shrill, shrieky sound followed by regular carrying on of business.Initially, it left everyone around bewildered, now it just has everyone shaking their heads and rubbing their ears to get the ringing out.
The previous phase of communication was a constant gurgling/gargling sound and everyone was waiting for that to get over. That eventually stopped to every ones relief only to be followed by this.


The best thing is the timing. Sid's scream time is around 0100pm to 0400pm when his grandpa has just finished lunch n lies down to sleep before waking up again and going to work. Hey grandpa, don't mind, I am just growing up.

When Your'e Happy and U Know It, Turn Around

As of yesterday Sid discovered that turning from his back to tummy and then back again in the same direction can help him travel some distances. His delight on being able to go back from his tummy to his back by himself was amazing. Earlier once on his tummy, he would lie there for  some time and then start hollering till he was put back on his back. But now when he managed it himself, he keeps rolling from his tummy to his back and vice versa as soon as he is laid down .

The thing is he only rolls to his right side, always. He just does not roll to his other side at all. This means once he starts turning he is just rolling and rolling till he is off the mat to the floor. Though its all fun to look at the scary part now is that he just CANNOT be left unattended on the bed for even a second.

And can someone please tell me if its OK that he only rolls to one side and eventually will pick up the skill for the other side too?

3, 4, There is So Much More...

In this article I'd like to recollect and relive the third and 4th months of our lives together...

June 06th through July 06th

•  The Smile that Lights Up My Life: The best part about the third month was the emergence of the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. And, how the world revolved around Sid, doing funny stuff to make him smile...
• 
  
  I Scream...I Scream...I Scream...However, along with the smile came the temper too. The couple of time that I have seen Sid scream (not cry, but simply scream) is a good idea of the temper shows to come ahead...
• 
  
  Impossible, But True: Though sleep was always a rare phenomenon with my baby, the move from trivandrum to pathanamthitta has decreased even the little there was!!! Even after he falls asleep in our arms, he totally refuses to lie on the bed or his cradle and wakes up wide eyed the moment he is laid down! A slightly scary and worrying event...Doc says it might be due to change of place. Hope he gets used to the place real soon or mama will just wither away.
• 
  
  To Turn or Not to Turn?: For a couple of days this month, Sid would turn to his side, put one leg in the front and looked like he was trying very hard to turn over to his tummy. And, when he couldn't do it he would shriek and shriek in anger and frustration. This was so hard to watch! We were all stuck in the confusion to whether let him try or to pick him u an soothe him down. However, looks like after 2 days of this, he has decided to give it some rest now.
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  Pick Me: Somewhere around end of June, Sid started communicating his desire to be picked up by spreading his hands u and raising his back towards us.
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  Or I Shall Cry: Usually this effort was made more irresistible by pulling u a scrunchy face and making crying noises in a very funny imitation of crying...

 July 06th Through Aug 06th  

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   Hey! I can talk too:Now I can say yaaa yeee yooo and gaa gee goo...full conversations in great Lengths we had for a few days and stopped. Guess, Sid got disappointed at our failure to grasp!
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  Holding Things is Fun Though it takes him some time to get his hands exactly where he wants it before he can close his fists around it. Reaching out to get the rattles from our hands this month though cant hold them right, yet.
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  Yoo Hoo! I play with toys now! The first time this month, Sid found the ding dong toy (a plastic spherical heavy bottomed toy with a teddy on top that makes a lovely watery ding ding sound wen moved from side to side)lying on his side and in the way of grasping it hit it making the noise. He loved it so much that for a long time then he kept hitting the toy and making the noise...
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  Worlds more Interesting Around Me: There was a time when having milk was a tedious job that took almost an hour making moms arms hurt from carrying Sid for so long and took a lot of sitting still in one place, something mama has never done much! Now, all it takes is a slightly different sound of the fan, the barking dog, granny's voice or some movement to stop drinking and inspect these more interesting sights and sounds.

These were some of the most important developments of these 2 months. However what is really precious are the tons of moments we share cooing and cuddling, laughing and smiling, holding on and hugging and just being...US...U n Me...

1, 2, How Are You?

As this is intended to be a baby diary too, I have some catching up to do worth 4 months of my baby's life. In this article I'd like to record our first couple of months of togetherness...

My clearest memory of the first 2 months post delivery is that of complete haziness! Weird aint it.

I had this tiny little being in my hand whom I didn't understand. I kept wondering what he was feeling...did he fear the unknown, all these things around him, the lights and colours and movements and sounds, into which he was thrown into suddenly after 9 months of absolute peace and coziness. Did he feel afraid of all of us, the people around him always moving, picking him up, talking loudly, laughing etc. Or, was he too young even to feel fear?

His innocence and helplessness bewildered me and gave me this overwhelming feeling to protect him always. I always wondered why it is that only human babies, a species thats deemed to be the most developed and intelligent, are born so helpless where everything has to be done for them and they cant even ask what it is they need.

There were tons of people giving tons n tons of advice all contradicting one another. There was the post delivery pain and weakness. I was constantly tired and sleep deprived. There were also questions regarding Pradeep's plans and program. And above all there were questions in my mind all the time about my baby, what he needed, what was he thinking, when will he know me, what does he see when he looks at me; is their any familiarity at all he feels; does seeing me reassure him with some familiarity, remembrance from when he was within etc. All in all there were many more questions than there could be answers for.

His hands were always fisted, and though he grabbed our fingers, it was only reflex rather than conscious effort. He would smile and cry in his sleep and I always wondered what he was dreaming of already. Someone said the babies see the angels and demons and these in turn make them smile or cry...maybe its true since they are so much closer to the unknown powers than we grown ups are.

Eventually he started to look at us and register our presence. It felt so much better than handling a little baby who did not even realise he was being handled. He even started showing in his own way that he is hungry by putting his fist in his mouth and trying to suck.

He started to show us, by the second month that he enjoyed being given a bath, was delighted when we poured water on him.

He also started making some "ooh" "aah" sounds, not very distinct. Loved being taken out to the garden for a walk and totally hated evenings.Oh Yeah! If there was a time called 0630pm, he would start crying. And he would cry and cry and cry till he tired himself out. He just hated that time of the day when the light faded outside and the artificial lights came on. At first we just couldnt figure out what was hurting him, but eventually we realised it was the time and the dark and he just had to be held and reassured.

His eyes were a green grey color during these months and was a major wonder to all of us.

I also remember feeling extreme sadness and bouts of despair and crying that I couldn't understand. This however was explained by everyone as postpartum depression, known to be very common and it all disappeared in a week.

Before closing this post I want to list out my three earliest and most precious memories of Sid's presence in the world:

Sidharth

1. 1st was, as any new mom would tell you, the sound of that shrill cry when he entered this world as I was lying on the theater table. Half dazed as I was the sound made me swell with emotion, bringing a smile to my lips and tears in my eyes.

2. 2nd is of when the baby was about to be taken out of the Theater. This nursing attendant brought him next to my face, took off my mask and asked me to give him a kiss (all this even before I was stitched back up). My most precious gift was the first kiss i could give you.

3. The first time the sisters in the ICU brought him to me side to be fed and the fervor with which he knew exactly what was to be done and got on with his work.

Thank You oh mighty Power for this miracle. 

The Centre of My Universe

Taking the advice of my dearest friend, today I decided to start my "baby blog". Have been thinking about it for some time now t never could get up the energy to write now that there is a baby around. Had even thought of the name "My Kid, Sid" some time ago but as always needed a nudge from the right quarters to get moving. Thanks again Teenz.

In the last almost four months (actually even for the 9 months before) my world has seen a drastic, earth shattering, universe quaking change. Even that description is such an understatement!

This event was the arrival of my Son, Sidharth, into our lives on 06th April, 2010. I have in passing wondered over the similarity of the words "son" and "sun" in the past but let me tell you, there is absolutely nothing to wonder about. Just like the rising sun brings a new dawn, with new hopes, dreams, opportunities and chances, so does the arrival of this little being into your life - from here life as you knew it doesn't exist and everything is NEW. And just like the Sun, he has, in the first few seconds of his arrival, made it impossible to imagine surviving this life, this world any other way, but with him in the centre of it and all of us orbiting around...

With this blog I want to welcome you Sid, the meaning of my life, into this world and to try and capture all of our times together - special moments, feelings, fun, growing up times, tantrums, my messages to you and everything.

Hope to keep the words flowing more regularly than in the other blog...