But, Of course!

Sid has this habit of having breakfast on his bed, watching one of his favorite animated movie. Have been trying to get him out of the habit but it is the one thing he is adamantly holding on to. It is as if that is what sets the mood for the day, kick starts it for him.

Good morning! Up from the pillow and hello Tangled.
Or, were we serious about Buzz rescuing Woody? 

Now the new problem we are facing is...ANTS. The last couple of days, these tiny, tiny ants have started appearing all over the bed and giving all of us some tough times, especially the baby skin fella. So last night I explained to Sid why he will be having breakfast at the dining table, just like all other meals. Surprisingly, he was pretty agreeable to the idea, probably cos as they say, once bitten...etc., quite literally.

This morning, I had his breakfast on his plate and asked him to come over to the dining table. He had forgotten the conversation from last night, of course (I guess, the "shy" lasts only so long), and insisted we go upstairs to the bedroom. So, I very sweetly reminded him about the teeny ants that bite and make him itch (in an effort to avoid extra efforts) and in under two seconds comes the reply "then go bring you laptop downstairs" in the 'But, Of course!' tone. (Or maybe 'Are you stupid?' tone?) Sigh! 

Cry Baby

And how!

When Sid was little baby, when his only option of communication was crying, he hardly ever came about as the crying kind. In fact, he cried very, very less. And so, every time he did cry I used to get extremely worried because I knew he wouldn't scream out like that with no good reason. A lot of people have criticized me saying "babies do cry", "Just leave him alone for some time" and other such stuff. I do agree with them, except, as a mother, one instinctively knows how much a child will react to various scenarios and discomforts and so, she will react when she believes the level of discomfort needs addressing. 

Anyway, I am digressing. Yes, so as a baby Sid did not cry at all. And now, here I am wishing he had just finished his crying quota right then. As a little baby, everything would have been brushed off under "how else will he let me know he is hungry/sleepy/thirsty/wet etc." And now? Now there is JUST NO EXCUSE.

Sid's temper tantrums redefine the term "Terrible Twos". And to think, this is actually a positive development stage, because most normally developing babies do go through this at around this age. In fact, as some experts put it "...you should always remember that your child isn't trying to be defiant or rebellious on purpose. He is just trying to express his growing independence and doesn't have the language skills to easily express his needs. This can also be the reason why your toddler frequently gets frustrated and resorts to hitting, biting, and temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way."

So, what do I say to myself when Sid is bawling at the top of his voice at 9 in the night asking to be taken to the park? I say "Yay! My son has developed into his next stage. Let's celebrate!" NOT.

In the best of times, I say (or think), "You KNOW the language. In fact, you speak it better than me. So, speak it to tell me instead of bawling and more importantly LISTEN to what I am saying because I know very well that you understand it". And, this is the best of times. (Sigh! I know. Don't shake your head, please.) 

But anyways, this is the stage where we are.Thing is, when in a decent mood, if Sid is told why he can't have/do a thing or go to a certain place, he is a very manageable. Calm, logical explanation is accepted without any tantrums at all and I LOVE him for that and feel so proud of him (as well as myself. :D)

But, if this happens when he is a little tired or close to sleep time, then hell hath no fury like....etc. etc. And, if he really doesn't manage to provoke me into refusing him anything normal, then he just picks up the weirdest of things he can ask for at that time of the night, knowing I'll have to refuse. Something like "I WANT TO GO TO THE ZOO RIGHT NOW" at sleep time. And, the moment I open my mouth to explain calmly how all the animals might have gone to sleep, and locked the gate behind them, like we do at home (logic that he usually understands and even loves to imagine, at other times) he scrunches up his face, and starts his ear splitting scream. And in two seconds of the start of this pretend cry, the tears start to rain. No. Pour. The crying happens in so much shock and angst, you would think I denied him something that he NEVER imagined could be denied and that was the most essential and obvious things he should have gotten at that moment. And then, because if not stemmed early, this crying goes on to a crescendo where he becomes unable to stop till the coughing and hiccuping start, I do everything from coaxing and explaining, to threatening (everything wrong, according to parenting experts) to get him to stop! Oh! this is a daily routine I am never going to get used to. Next stage please, already!!!

Anyways, the one good thing we do here is, after he has calmed down, Sid and I have a heart to heart where I ask him why he cried. His usual answer "I don't know". Then I ask him what he got from all that crying. He says "you scolded me and got upset. Nothing else". 

So I tell him (every single time, every single day) that crying gets us nothing. Cry if you are sad or hurt or upset but not because you want to throw a tantrum or think it will get you anything. I know he doesn't understand most of this right now. But, I also know this is one of the things I really want him to know, to eventually understand. The stages will come and go, but I think the life lesson needs to be learnt. The spoilt brat phase needs to be avoided.

I also know that all that scene we had and the "stop crying"s he heard would have created an unpleasantness that will only go away when we talk calmly about this topic, then about other things and till I tell him I love him, to which he usually quickly smiles, gives me a hug and sometimes promptly goes to sleep in my arms.

Know this baby, arguments and "fights" are just momentary. But,the love and relationship stays. No argument is long term till we want it to be. An "I love You" and a smile, and everything is forgotten. :) 

All that said, I wish some expert told me how long the terrible twos usually lasted!!! - A Harassed Mom. ;)

The Conversationalist

In conversation since Jul 2010

Because I wrote here yesterday, I took a closer look at the blog today and the most heartbreaking thing I saw was that the year 2012 had one post in it, just the one. And, we are already in September. But don't blame me. In this rush to keep up with all the development and growth and events and changes, I hardly get any time to log them stages. And most importantly, cos of all the important conversations we have been having. 

Sid seems to have been an early talker. He started forming full sentences since almost an year old. And yet, it was like a barrage breaking and him trying to make up for all the initial months, when he wanted to tell us so many things but did not know the words for it. Especially, "NO!", "I don't want", "I will not eat", "I want xyz..." AND "I want to go to the park". All in Malayalam. 

Yes, we do need to start him off in English and other languages soon, but try to get your toddler to do something you want and he doesn't, and you would know why trying anything else but the language most familiar with seems like the stupidest idea in the world. Especially when, even that, he suddenly seems to stop understanding.

He has been saying some very outrageous things recently that have me and mom simply stare at each other in shock and wonder "Where did THAT come from?!". And all this when the "questioning phase" has not even begun. From calling his grandmother a "naughty woman", very matter of fact-ly, because she did not do something he asked of her, to saying stuff like "ee ammayudey oru kaaryam" (I don't even know how to translate that into English!), if I did something sloppy or a little silly, he has all of us wondering from where and how quickly he picks up this stuff.

It is not really the exact "topic" of conversations or even the way he says them that are shocking as compared to the actual words he uses to express them. Simply put, he has this ancestral, old man style of presenting things.

 A couple of incidents:

Sid: "And you know what happens next?!"

The other day we were going out to meet friend N and he probably pciked up from some conversation at home that that was who we were going to meet. However, while waiting for N on the way, I told him we were going to meet friend P. Pat comes the reply "Nammalkku thalkkaalam 'N'indey koodey maatram poyaal mathi. Kurachu kazhinju 'P'ineyum kaanaam."
Now, I can't explain why that sentence is shocking. It is not the preference he expressed but the words he used and the way he frames the sentences. Trying to explain in normal English would be to say "Let us go out with N for the time being. Then, in a few moments, we shall meet P as well" instead of "we will meet N now and P later". (You notice the things I have written in bold? Yeah. Those are his "regular speech" words. One thing is for sure, I am not the source at all).

A new tact the fellow has learnt is that it is easier to spell out a compromise than a loud "NO". So, when I ask him to come for a bath in the morning, he says very sweetly and seriously, "nammalkku kurachu neram koodi kalichittu poyi vegam kulikkaam". The closest English translation may be "We shall play for a while longer and then go take a quick shower".

I know, when I mention them here they are simple conversations, not much to report. But to me, hearing new words and sentences from him, words and sentence formations that I didn't realize he knew, is quite an experience. And then to hear him speak a slightly more formal, proper word or sentence, words and sentences that we usually don't even use in day to day speech, is even more astounding. Call me an "unnecessarily" proud mother if you may, this guy shocks us every single day with some of the things he says.

A nighty-night story for mom

Expressions of Love

I am just Absolutely Completely in Love with this stage. The little one has discovered hugging and kissing and cuddling. So, in the midst of all the playing and running around, he gets this sudden urge and comes running , hugs me tight and plants a beeeeg kiss on my cheeks. Also, considering that this is much less painful and much more enjoyable compared to being bitten extremely hard when the sudden outpouring of love happened, I  just can't get enough of it. Cuddly time is here. Yay!

Cuddly play time with Mama.

I tell Mama great stories too

I have decided to enjoy every single second of these numbered days which will be only too quickly followed by "Oh Mom! Please don't hug/kiss me in public! This is sooooooooo embarrassing."

Only if some part of this stage stayed with men forever. :) Right now, leaving for office has become even more difficult considering all the cuddling baby time we are both missing. Sigh!

Growing up is real fun. But watching ones kid grow up can sometimes be a little scary and stressful. Here are a few instances why...

We use a table fan for Sid as he doesn't take well to AC. The first thing I do on waking up is to switch off the table fan, unplug the same and push it to the far corner. Once moved thus, Sid would not turn and look at it - till about 3 weeks back.

Last week he discovered that he can still reach the table fan and promptly started playing with the buttons on it. Even though unplugged, the scene somehow sent shivers down my spine. (Kids and electric equipment! And a table fan at that!!!). However, since unplugged, I didn't make a huge fuss except to casually divert Sid's attention onto something else.
The actual Shock set in when, on not being able to switch on the fan, he promptly picked up the plug and tried pushing it into the socket!!! And whats more he even hit a few of the switches to see if that worked. The scene had me immobile with shock? fear? pride? and such before I managed to scamper out of bed and pull him away. Now have to find a serious solution before he actually manages to start the fan! With this rate of progress, won't be too long. I am still not sure if I was more impressed or more scared stiff.
The other things he has picked up the last few weeks include understanding that pens are usually pulled open and then scratched on papers. And in case of success, this is accompanied with squeals of delight. Dangerous again!
Among the good things, Sid knows we wear shoes before going out. So whenever in the mood for a walk, he brings over the respective persons shoe. The sweetest thing here is he will first bring me one shoe, then go back and bring the other one as well.
He also has learnt that bottles and utensils are to be closed after use. (I am really pleased with this and hope the streak continues).

Also pleased with the cleanliness streak that makes him come running to me with hands raised at the smallest hint of dirt, and cries "dirty dirty" till its washed. (just don't get too obsessed darling). Oh! That washing bit was till last week when this post had been started. now he just comes, holds my skirt/t-shirt/what-ever-mama-wears on one hand and wipes the other hand with it, very efficiently too. Complete with hand-eye-coordination and everything!!!
What really impressed me seeing these small developments is the things babies pick up by just observing us, completely unnoticed. This realisation has made me very conscious of all my actions in front of him.
Small traits and habits that I would be comfortable pursuing in front of Sid, thinking, "oh! he is not going to judge me for some more time", has now become even more dangerous!
To Sid: Baby, Chewing nails is bad habit and Mama does it only when highly distressed(And that is NOT an excuse also). So, please don't pick that up.
And talking to oneself will also not be looked at very nicely, ever!
Not writing about the other stuff that I am personally worried about. Just "Note to Self".
Signing Off With: CALVIN: "Where Do you Keep all the Chainsaws, Mom..."

Verticality - Getting there

A lot of things, thoughts, have been running around in my head and yet I am unable to reign any one thought in enough to dwell over it and put it down into coherent words. In truth I am yet to break free  of the hibernation mode. Hence the long days of silence. Anyhow, I decided to try and resume writing by taking the easy way out - journalling Sid's latest developments.

Onto Two Little Feet: Its really amazing how we take for granted acts like standing, walking and running, considering how difficult it is to actually just get off our bums and onto two very unstable little feet. To get a hold someplace (mostly very wrong places like ends of a bed sheet) then attempt to pull oneself up, keep falling back onto your bum till finally you manage to get up; And all for what, just as things start looking interesting on the new surface and you excitedly extend your hands to grab something, you are back on your bum, and this time the fall is very hard too (from all that height). Wow! watching this cycle gives one a new appreciation of the things we do with ease, without thinking twice. More importantly it teaches us what determination is. Just to keep on and on at something that is so painful and difficult till one gets it so right one doesn't have to think twice about it. You gotta learn it from these little ones. Anyhow, Sid is currently (as of late November) at this painful stage.

 

What has now become a "can do with no effort" activity is sitting up and playing. all the see-sawing and falling off has finally, thankfully ended. (though of course, it was less painful to fall while sitting compared to while standing)

 



serious speech



 Talkie Talk: Communication has progressed to a lot of single syllable sounds like ta-ta, tha tha,  and so on. He looks at the respective thing when asked where the light is, fan is, where Danny is, or the Christmas star. He knows where to look for flowers ("poo" in Malayalam) in the garden and has learned to say poo as well. He has started saying "atha" and only calls for "amma" (mom) when he is crying or wants something. All the baby sounds he makes has finally made communication a 2-way process of speaking if not hearing and understanding.

Food, The New Struggle: I do realise that I have written an entire article about the difficulties of feeding but however much I write, it seems I haven't even begun to cover the difficulties. How I wish babies, who otherwise are really intelligent you know, had been born with the basic understanding that food can assuage hunger. its a really vicious circle. Hunger makes him cranky - cranky makes him difficult to sit at a place or open his mouth - thus becoming more hungry!

The Games We Play:

Break the Glass - Course, the ultimate favorite thing right now, as soon as he is left on the ground, is to hold on to the centre table, climb up and bang on the glass top as hard as possible. really scary game.



pushing the chair round



Mover Boy: Another latest fad is to sit at the leg of any furniture and try to drag it back and forth. The hospital provided plastic chair are real fun cos they actually move and make a lot of noise. However, Sid tries this on everything, from suitcases under the bed to the bed itself.

Pick and Drop: Nah! this isn't about techie travel tails. Sid's latest game is to throw everything onto the ground and then have them picked up by others, repeatedly. Also, as soon as he sees anything on the surface of the table it all goes down in a single swish. That's rather more convenient to bang the table top.

Tabla Boy: So right after he sees something new and before it goes into his mouth his latest interest is to hit it again and again with his hands to see if it makes any interesting noise, oh uh I mean sound. 

That and a million other wonderful instances as well as not so wonderful eating (read not eating) and sleeping (read sleepless) and falling (read head bumps) instances have made the last month fun for mama and Sid.



biting away at mama's hand



Joys of Semi-Verticality

As on 06th Nov, 2010 around 1500 hours (almost exactly the moment Sid turned 7 months old) he decided he needed a new perspective on things and pulled himself up from his stomach to a sitting position. Of course this is a moment of great joy and pride but what it also brought along with it a lot of falling and banging of head which isn't the easiest of things to be standing around watching.
From then on to today he has been practicing the art and polishing it bit by bit pretty much all the time. Now the entire process of pushing himself up has become much smoother and faster but staying up is still dicey and results in at least one head banging per day, how much ever careful the people around him maybe! (The sight of this pains mama more than Sid from the looks of despair on the two faces).
 
The best part about sitting up however is the freedom it gives. Being able to explore all around and pick up things as and when one likes. (and put them in his mouth too).
But despite all the head bumps and tummy upsets (and palpitations for mommy), Oh! its so worth it to watch kiddo sit up and wave his arms around in joy and laugh about just so he can...

P.S mamma is too scared to pick up the cam and click pics when Sid is sitting up, and hence no sitting-up-and-playing-snaps, yet.

Meal Time!

Around 5 month's age we started Sid on some supplementary food (or at least we tried). These included mashed and sweetened ragi paste, dried, sweetened raw banana paste etc. all traditional malayali initiation food. I'm not very sure what is followed in other parts of the country and I decided to go the safest route as this is what the rest of everyone else I know has grown up on and has fed their next generation too.

One thing I can guarantee, trying to feed a baby anything other than milk is not for the faint hearted, the impatient or the short tempered. Or rather, I should say it is a good lesson for everyone of the kind I just described (ahem...like me).

In this context, my mom was talking about a senior paediatrician colleague of hers who has written books on infants and toddler care and her most important advice to all parents who complain about the difficulty of feeding their babies is to let them be, that kids don't stay hungry and they shall eat without much coaxing when they are sufficiently hungry. Until...she had her grandchild. After that, during a conversation, she happened to tell my mom how she thinks she might as well rewrite her book cos she has realised that however hungry, if babies don't like the business of opening their mouth and swallowing their food, THEY WILL NOT! Oh No they won't. And for all the coaxing, goading, distracting and everything one might invest in, one might as well learn, a NO means just that.

It is amazing how, before learning to chew and swallow, these tinies learn to spit and even more importantly to clamp their mouth shut with such force as soon as they spot a spoon in the horizon. How quickly they understand tricks and distractions and will not even open their mouths to giggle, instead settling for a tightly closed lip smile, even at their favourite tricks!

gooey redefined

So, as this struggle progresses, we have started Sid on almost everything a little by little except tough animal proteins and eggs. (All paediatricians strictly advice against feeding babies eggs before 10 months.) Over and above the aforementioned gooey stuff, he has a little rice, lentils some steamed fish, potato, apple juice, oranges and so on oh! and of course cerelac too. Only thing is by the time he has about 4 spoons of anything, my breakfast, lunch and dinner gets digested.

The irony is how they put anything and everything else into their mouths, especially dirt, shoes, floor mats and stuff that are normally kept out of reach with good reason, while they shut their mouth like a mouse trap the moment there is food in the vicinity.

WOW! to imagine what it will be like once he begins to run!



initial feeding days with grandma n grandpa



grandma grandpa gave after these first few attempts!



SIXER

Once again, this post is a conjunction of what should ideally have been many different regularly updated posts. However, due to extremely hectic developmental days (the same ones that I should be writing about), my own laziness and more importantly because it is much more fun to be enjoying Sid than writing about him, I have been putting the whole baby diary bit in the back burner. Finally, since a new month starts today, and he is past his 6 months landmark, I decided to update all the interesting tit bits of the last month.

Blabber Boo Bits: 

In the middle of a speech



The month began with a lot of bubble blowing, pffffffffft and pa poo sounds. The most delighted with this development was granddad who kept repeating "appuppa" (grandfather in Malayalam) to Sid and Sid seemed to be managing a very similar sounding response. However, like with all his practices this one also lasted only for a 2-3 days (I'm very thankful for that time frame especially with regards to the screaming bit). This progressed to an inward breathing "ka" sound which was very weird but seemed to thrill Sid. The essence of all the special thrills with these stages is having everyone repeat after him and Sid tends to find that hilarious. And since the universe thrives to make a baby laugh, the house has become a constant babble of meaningless repetitions.

And now, since yesterday, Sid has slowly started conversing in ak ka ka ka sounds. Especially when everyone around him is talking to each other, he tends to go ak ka ka in varying pitches and volumes like its part of the conversation. 



Crawlingly Mobile:

Learning to Crawl



After all the turning, toppling and moving in reverse, Sid finally decided to pull himself forward. This happened about a week back and now we are crawling "worm style" full force forward. Right now I'm really glad I am not the one to wash his clothes cos they are as good as a mop by the time he has dragged himself around half the house on his chest, especially since his favourite places are under tables, chairs and beds. Hope he gets off his chest and onto his hands and knees very soon for the sake of his clothes. His favorite pass time at the moment is to chase plastic bottles (when one is looking. The moment you turn he will be lunging after floor mats and slippers!).

The weirdest moment was last day when Sid thought it was a game that whenever he tried to follow mama into a particular room she came running, put him back outside and then disappeared again. Actually though, it wasn't a game. I just had to use the restroom and as usual left the door open to ensure I could hear Sid, never imagining him to follow me  inside, crawling (yeesh!).

Games and Fun



His grandma has been singing to him a sweet little Malayalam rhyme of 4 lines accompanied by closing and opening of her fist  for about 3 months now. Finally her patience paid off when last week he started closing and opening his fist right back at her. Eventually he just had to hear the rhyme to start opening and closing his fist. Now he opens and closes it at everyone leaving outsiders bewildered at the gesture.

Misc New Habits

• 

  

  A few Seconds of Sitting

  
  Weird Sitter: Sid has been trying to pull himself up to a sitting position from his back by holding our hands. Has been trying this for quiet some time. Now all he needs is just some place to hold with one hand while pushing hi,self up with the other. With a tiny nudge from us he can now reach a sitting position and hold it for some seconds too by himself. This is kind of weird though as normally babies are known to start sitting up while lying on their tummies.
• 
  Scary Girls:  We have discovered that when faced by strangers, he smiles at/ does not cry when men pick him up or play with him but cries or looks away when women do the same.
• Mama's Pet: A new developent this month is Sid's special attachment to Moi. Even when around his grandpa and grandma, he has to know I am around and whenever he sees me I recieve huge smiles of pleasure. Even to sleep, eat and everything he needs his mama, and grandma is not enough. Now this is all very flattering and I am at the top of the world, but then a little free time would also be highly appreciated.
• Time Waster: Sleep (especially at day time) has gone down even further (like I had ever thought that possible!) now that there are so many better ways to spend time and so many new corners to explore. There are nights though I get about an hours sleep at times instead of half hour and so on. I'm hoping and praying these are signs of improvement. (Thought long and hard about writing that one. Didn't wanna jinx it).

I am sure there are many more tit bits that I am missing and will have to add in later. However, for the time being I stop right here as this has gone on long enough time wise and space wise. By the way, since I started this post 2 days back, I have realised that its not that I am lazy, I really am not getting any time whatsoever to sit down and write posts in between meal making, retrieving slippers and stuff from Sid and retrieving Sid himself from under beds and tables.  

Warrior Boy

Our Sid is comparatively an early teether. He got his bottom 2 incisors by around 5 months and 2 weeks! The thing about Teething is that its an extremely painful and irritating process. Just imagining the teeth cutting through the gums makes me squirm with pain and discomfort and too heartbreaking to watch. At times I feel so helpless that there isn't anything I can do to help Sid and then keep reminding myself that ALL of us have gone through it and so will he.


With his Teether

When babies are faced with this discomfort and irritation, there biggest need is to bite and gnaw at whatever they can lay there hands on. Many doctors recommend buying teethers for your babies to bite on. Very good advice of course, not only because it gives your baby some welcome relief but also keeps him occupied playing with the teether. EXCEPT (aah there it comes) we must remember that teething usually happens somewhere close to or after 8 months (usually being the operative word). By this stage their hand eye coordination is excellent - by which I mean the baby takes the teether into his mouth, if that is where he wants it, not into his eye. Now, you see the challenge. Sid is still too young and has not yet perfected his HE coordination. His movements are jerky and whatever he has in his hands has a danger of hitting his eye.

But then Sid has a solution to this problem too. Because, whatever we do or don't give him, his favourite thing to bite is our hands. So don't be too thrilled as soon as he grabs your hand. His intentions are to make two very deep and painful imprints on them. When he has his own hands in his mouth, he is very careful to cushion them on his tongue but as soon as he spots a careless prey, bang! within no time you can hear howling and screaming around you. I have also discovered, at my own very painful expense, that he loves to bit cheeks, nose and then whatever he can reach around him including furniture. His latest favourite is to bite down hard on my shoulder when I am carrying him around, especially when he wants me to walk around with him and I keep standing in one place. Additionally, he also directs his mount (me the elephant) by kicking and pushing against me.  

Another favorite "teether" - Mama's Mob

A Note to the Unaware: Some additional modes of attacks you may experience are hair pulling ( i wonder how he always gets his hands on the hair around the edges that hurt the most!), scratching (people I meet have been asking me if we have a new kitten), kicking and punching (I am not kidding, he can hurt!) and supersonic screaming into your ears that can be the end of your eardrums! Beware.

I Scream, U Scream, V All Scream for...NOTHING

As on around 20th Sept, we have learnt a new form of communication, and that is to scream at the top of our lungs. It is not the angry scream or the one that is used when crying. It is just a "closed eye, full of purpose, ear shattering, earth moving" scream that is followed by a calm serene serious expression that means I just did/said something very natural. A high pitched, shrill, shrieky sound followed by regular carrying on of business.Initially, it left everyone around bewildered, now it just has everyone shaking their heads and rubbing their ears to get the ringing out.
The previous phase of communication was a constant gurgling/gargling sound and everyone was waiting for that to get over. That eventually stopped to every ones relief only to be followed by this.


The best thing is the timing. Sid's scream time is around 0100pm to 0400pm when his grandpa has just finished lunch n lies down to sleep before waking up again and going to work. Hey grandpa, don't mind, I am just growing up.

When Your'e Happy and U Know It, Turn Around

As of yesterday Sid discovered that turning from his back to tummy and then back again in the same direction can help him travel some distances. His delight on being able to go back from his tummy to his back by himself was amazing. Earlier once on his tummy, he would lie there for  some time and then start hollering till he was put back on his back. But now when he managed it himself, he keeps rolling from his tummy to his back and vice versa as soon as he is laid down .

The thing is he only rolls to his right side, always. He just does not roll to his other side at all. This means once he starts turning he is just rolling and rolling till he is off the mat to the floor. Though its all fun to look at the scary part now is that he just CANNOT be left unattended on the bed for even a second.

And can someone please tell me if its OK that he only rolls to one side and eventually will pick up the skill for the other side too?

3, 4, There is So Much More...

In this article I'd like to recollect and relive the third and 4th months of our lives together...

June 06th through July 06th

•  The Smile that Lights Up My Life: The best part about the third month was the emergence of the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. And, how the world revolved around Sid, doing funny stuff to make him smile...
• 
  
  I Scream...I Scream...I Scream...However, along with the smile came the temper too. The couple of time that I have seen Sid scream (not cry, but simply scream) is a good idea of the temper shows to come ahead...
• 
  
  Impossible, But True: Though sleep was always a rare phenomenon with my baby, the move from trivandrum to pathanamthitta has decreased even the little there was!!! Even after he falls asleep in our arms, he totally refuses to lie on the bed or his cradle and wakes up wide eyed the moment he is laid down! A slightly scary and worrying event...Doc says it might be due to change of place. Hope he gets used to the place real soon or mama will just wither away.
• 
  
  To Turn or Not to Turn?: For a couple of days this month, Sid would turn to his side, put one leg in the front and looked like he was trying very hard to turn over to his tummy. And, when he couldn't do it he would shriek and shriek in anger and frustration. This was so hard to watch! We were all stuck in the confusion to whether let him try or to pick him u an soothe him down. However, looks like after 2 days of this, he has decided to give it some rest now.
• 
  
  Pick Me: Somewhere around end of June, Sid started communicating his desire to be picked up by spreading his hands u and raising his back towards us.
• 
  
  Or I Shall Cry: Usually this effort was made more irresistible by pulling u a scrunchy face and making crying noises in a very funny imitation of crying...

 July 06th Through Aug 06th  

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   Hey! I can talk too:Now I can say yaaa yeee yooo and gaa gee goo...full conversations in great Lengths we had for a few days and stopped. Guess, Sid got disappointed at our failure to grasp!
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  Holding Things is Fun Though it takes him some time to get his hands exactly where he wants it before he can close his fists around it. Reaching out to get the rattles from our hands this month though cant hold them right, yet.
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  Yoo Hoo! I play with toys now! The first time this month, Sid found the ding dong toy (a plastic spherical heavy bottomed toy with a teddy on top that makes a lovely watery ding ding sound wen moved from side to side)lying on his side and in the way of grasping it hit it making the noise. He loved it so much that for a long time then he kept hitting the toy and making the noise...
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  Worlds more Interesting Around Me: There was a time when having milk was a tedious job that took almost an hour making moms arms hurt from carrying Sid for so long and took a lot of sitting still in one place, something mama has never done much! Now, all it takes is a slightly different sound of the fan, the barking dog, granny's voice or some movement to stop drinking and inspect these more interesting sights and sounds.

These were some of the most important developments of these 2 months. However what is really precious are the tons of moments we share cooing and cuddling, laughing and smiling, holding on and hugging and just being...US...U n Me...

1, 2, How Are You?

As this is intended to be a baby diary too, I have some catching up to do worth 4 months of my baby's life. In this article I'd like to record our first couple of months of togetherness...

My clearest memory of the first 2 months post delivery is that of complete haziness! Weird aint it.

I had this tiny little being in my hand whom I didn't understand. I kept wondering what he was feeling...did he fear the unknown, all these things around him, the lights and colours and movements and sounds, into which he was thrown into suddenly after 9 months of absolute peace and coziness. Did he feel afraid of all of us, the people around him always moving, picking him up, talking loudly, laughing etc. Or, was he too young even to feel fear?

His innocence and helplessness bewildered me and gave me this overwhelming feeling to protect him always. I always wondered why it is that only human babies, a species thats deemed to be the most developed and intelligent, are born so helpless where everything has to be done for them and they cant even ask what it is they need.

There were tons of people giving tons n tons of advice all contradicting one another. There was the post delivery pain and weakness. I was constantly tired and sleep deprived. There were also questions regarding Pradeep's plans and program. And above all there were questions in my mind all the time about my baby, what he needed, what was he thinking, when will he know me, what does he see when he looks at me; is their any familiarity at all he feels; does seeing me reassure him with some familiarity, remembrance from when he was within etc. All in all there were many more questions than there could be answers for.

His hands were always fisted, and though he grabbed our fingers, it was only reflex rather than conscious effort. He would smile and cry in his sleep and I always wondered what he was dreaming of already. Someone said the babies see the angels and demons and these in turn make them smile or cry...maybe its true since they are so much closer to the unknown powers than we grown ups are.

Eventually he started to look at us and register our presence. It felt so much better than handling a little baby who did not even realise he was being handled. He even started showing in his own way that he is hungry by putting his fist in his mouth and trying to suck.

He started to show us, by the second month that he enjoyed being given a bath, was delighted when we poured water on him.

He also started making some "ooh" "aah" sounds, not very distinct. Loved being taken out to the garden for a walk and totally hated evenings.Oh Yeah! If there was a time called 0630pm, he would start crying. And he would cry and cry and cry till he tired himself out. He just hated that time of the day when the light faded outside and the artificial lights came on. At first we just couldnt figure out what was hurting him, but eventually we realised it was the time and the dark and he just had to be held and reassured.

His eyes were a green grey color during these months and was a major wonder to all of us.

I also remember feeling extreme sadness and bouts of despair and crying that I couldn't understand. This however was explained by everyone as postpartum depression, known to be very common and it all disappeared in a week.

Before closing this post I want to list out my three earliest and most precious memories of Sid's presence in the world:

Sidharth

1. 1st was, as any new mom would tell you, the sound of that shrill cry when he entered this world as I was lying on the theater table. Half dazed as I was the sound made me swell with emotion, bringing a smile to my lips and tears in my eyes.

2. 2nd is of when the baby was about to be taken out of the Theater. This nursing attendant brought him next to my face, took off my mask and asked me to give him a kiss (all this even before I was stitched back up). My most precious gift was the first kiss i could give you.

3. The first time the sisters in the ICU brought him to me side to be fed and the fervor with which he knew exactly what was to be done and got on with his work.

Thank You oh mighty Power for this miracle.