Thursday, March 31, 2011

Been a long time since I updated anything new about Sid's growth. And sadly when I did come back it was an impulsive and quick write up about a movie that moved the mother in me to the very core.

To try and turn things into a little more pleasanter note, I am trying to write another little update on my Hero and his mom. The reason that mama has not been able to write more is that here we are, Sid and me living with Chitrammai (CA) in Trivandrum.

 Mama has started working and has started leaving Sid at home with a maid and CA to take care of him.

There was nothing that has worried and scared mama more than the weeks preceding the shift and the thought of leaving Sid with CA and a stranger. Luckily, the whole joining process was so quick that mama didn't get enough time to worry herself sick. The way things normally tend to happen, all this has settled itself. Sid is fine with CA and the maid.

Other than the usual - maid issues, small hiccups of not living in your home but with a relative, practically being a single mom (even temporarily) AND not having either set of grandparents with us to help, ohh! and being a working single mom at that - everything else has been going on in a pattern the last 2 months.

The biggest change in Sid has been all emotional and communications. Wow! Does my son have a temper or what. I am hoping against hope that this is just a phase and not a reflection of things to come, the temper! We scream and cry and hit and bite and hit the floor/bed with both our hands and throw every possible tantrum till we get what we need. And whats worst, we cannot yet tell people what we need!
And whats more, if we are not really sad or angry, we know how to act as well!

As for telling, we are in a "count the syllable phase right now. So whatever you point and name to Sid in a particular intonation, Sid repeats the number of syllables and the intonations all in the same sound. So, "Ball' is "Ba", "Ba-lloon" is "Ba Ba". Clock is "Ka", Car is "Ka" and Ca-Len-Der is "Ka Ka Ka". And so on. All animals, even reptiles, aer "Bow Bow".
But, the good thing is when asked to point out something like the clock or ball or car or head etc. we can promptly point and direct the ignorant.

Further, we love the mobile phone. we take it to our ears and ask for "ammumma" in it always cos ammumma is the only person who talks to us on phone.

We love to feed and give water. So when mama gives me water to drink in our sipper we drink our fill and then push the bottle to mama's lips. and if she doesn't drink we "slurp slurp slurp" trying to teach poor ignorant mama how to drink from the sipper. we also push food into mama's mouth when she is trying to feed us.

And though we have a very bad temper, we have also become more expressive of our love. We love to hug and kiss a lot these days, though all that is limited to a very happy mama. And everything said the Joy we feel that reflects on our face when we see mom come back from office is UNMATCHED.

Also, we love to play on mama's office laptop.

I don't know why I wrote all that in first person "plural" from Sid!!!

Unnamed........

Haven't been this moved by a movie in a long long....long time. watched the Malayalam movie traffic, today. I know this post doesnt seem to fit in a stagnant baby blog. But maybe it was the pain of two mothers in the movie that I could relate the most with in the movie. Before I were a mother it may have been the sacrifice of the young man, even if in ignorance, or the strength of the decision of his friends and girlfriend that I may have associated with most. Or, it may have been another unnamed hero, the friend/navigator who would have been my main charater in the movie, after the protagonist driver/cop of course. But, the first time I watched a movie with tears in my eyes, a HUGE lump in my throat and a lot of pain in my heart. And, more importantly the first time in my life where I had to skip whole portions of a movie becasue I couldnt stand to watch the pain of watching parents, especially the mother who...............can't even complete the statement). There are times when I watch this happen in a movie or hear about it in everyday life and think that i can empathise with the mother and have my heart go out to her. But, who was  fooling. Not before today, and never before being a mother myself could I ever even start imagining the depths of that pain. Even as I write this post at the end of the movie I have unshed tears in my heart. Never Ever Before I have known there exists a pain so deep that it makes it even difficult to cry. Even that little relied in shedding tears is denied in that pain.

Heard somewhere - there are widows, widowers. There are orphans and what not. But one loss in this world is so unimaginably BIG that there is no word to define the survivor.